Friday, January 29, 2010

Terrorist Bin Laden Joins EEStor Fan Base?

You might think that the world's most famous terrorist loves it when the price of oil zips up and out of control. After all, it's been said a million times that most terrorism is funded by oil money. But don't you know that most terrorists, especially the ones in hiding, are actually green like Al Gore? (They have to be: UAV's. ) But now the philosophy of going green is also taking root. Take Bin Laden's latest message calling for a halt to the American economy due to it's impact on Global Warming. Yes, that's right, global warming. I said it again.

It's probably not too difficult to disentangle the murderous intentions behind the message: oil keeps in power the very people Bin Laden wishes to overthrow. Connect the dots however you wish but it comes back to a fundamental point: if Bin Laden wishes to prevent Global Warming, the burning of carbon fuels are a great place to start, ERGO, a better battery (let's call it Bettery from here out) would be a logical friend, such as EEStor's EESU. In fact, it's this exact idea that has resulted in some recent negotiations among those engaged in the war on terrorism. Here's an excerpt from a classified transcript detailing the ongoing negotiations:

[somewhere in a dimly lit bunker, an assembly of leaders sit down to discuss EEStor]

Bin Laden:
I swear by [censored], this battery is a gift from [censored].

John Doerr: We think so too and the Chinese are also in agreement if not our pockets. Are we red or are we green, Al? Ah hell, let the accountants figure it out.

Al Gore: Maybe. But we can all agree or least anyone with a soul can agree that Polar Bears are friends to Muslims everywhere, even militant ones. Correct?

Barak Obama: More than that, they are a symbol of our future economic independency, ah, interdependency, ah, you know what I'm saying. On the topic of Polar Bears, like many Americans who sit in my office, we can all agree that if Polar Bears were green in color, like I $1Bil in stimulus funding, then all the problems of this and other countries would dissolve in a fiscal year.

Chris Matthews: I forgot they were white.

Dick Weir: What the f[censored] is going on here? Apprehend that g[censored] d[censored] f[censored] terrorist piece of s[censored]. He's a murdering terrorist. Get a laser, throw it in multi-mode and disintegrate him!

Barak Obama: Now wait a second Dick. We're only here to talk about the ultrabattery, ca-pa-tass-eestor. Cheney, what did you it call again?

Dick Cheney: Mr. President, EEStor refers to their device as an Electrical Energy Storage Unit but in ordinary English usage, most simply call it a battery. However, as Mr. Weir has demonstrated, it has the properties of a capacitor, which is another form of energy storage. Therefore, we should probably pick a term and stick with it for practical purposes.

Bin Laden: This energy storage should be called [censored] from [censored] by [censored] for the end to [censored] and [censored] [censored].

Bob Stevens: Gentlemen, we've been kicking around the idea of calling it LockhEEd's Future, ahem, I mean BagheadPack Smile Storage Unit. Another idea we came up with in collaboration with our government partners in Quantico: EEFU. How do you like that, Bin?

Bin Laden: EEFU, UAV, none of these can catch me, you think?

From a Conference Call Speakerphone in the middle of the conference table: let's stop talking about what to call it and get it built. Besides, everyone knows it should be called MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH!!

Barak Obama: Who is that guy, any way?

Dick Cheney: That's George Bush.

Al Gore: No, it's not. It's George Clooney.

Bin Laden: Wrong again! It's Secretary Steven Chu. I know his voice anywhere.

Speakerphone: One question, Mr. Weir, if I may. When????????

Rex Tillerson: Yes, when will EESCAM be over?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Apple Announces IPad Sans EESU

Well, there you go. The Apple news in all it's glory including a New York Times demo featuring, appropriately, me. Thanks EEnigma!

EEStor's Board of Directors

In a brief telephone interview yesterday, Sulgraves Partners' Mike Long declined to comment on several questions but did confirm he is still happily involved with EEStor Inc as a member of it's board of directors. Citing his "respect for the CEO's role," Long said that EEStor's CEO, Dick Weir "speaks for the company" and that he is "happy with that arrangement." Long has a successful track record as CEO of three public companies, perhaps most notably at WebMD and Move Inc. When asked if EEStor's technology was going to end the US dependence on foreign oil, Long laughed and declined to comment. Long referred all questions, except those he inadvertently answered, to Dick Weir. "EEStor is a private company and it's spokesperson is the CEO. They are quality people and I am certainly happy with that arrangement."

Sulgraves Partners is a new consulting company offering Strategic Communications, Turnaround Management & a Business Advisory Services.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Regarding Our Oil Rich Friends

I read with interest how "our friends" in the oil rich lands have responded to the cataclysmic events in Haiti. $0. That's how much help has been provided according to United Nations documents.

Can't bring EEStor to market fast enough.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

When Dick Weir Writes Patents at Night

Everyone knows by now that Dick Weir writes patents at night. What no one seems to know for sure is WHY he writes them at night. (day and night, to be correct) The answer is not easy to come by which is why we must refer to the visual arts to explore the matter further. The first thing we should recognize is that a great deal else occurs at night, other than patent writing. So, maybe the answer is somehow a little of both. At least, that's what is suggested by the recent work of EEStory legend, AD2. (Keep in mind, from prior work, we know the man knows what he is doing.)

At night. What wha wha ?


I wish I wrote patents at night.

EEStor Granted A New Patent: 11/453,581

In yet another mystery chapter from the EEStory, we find that EEStor has been granted patent 11/453,581. Originally filed in June 2006, this patent for a METHOD OF PURIFYING BARIUM NITRATE AQUEOUS SOLUTION, had it's patent Issue Notification mailed on Dec 30,2009 and the Patent Grant Mailed on January 19, 2010. At first look, it appears to have stayed under the radar until now.

If you examine the Image File Wrapper, you'll notice some interesting references to arguments made by Carl Walter Nelson. Also, the prosecution of this patent included a telphonic interview with EEStor's representative John Schell. What was discussed? "Applicants believe the step-wise purification provides benefits such as removing strontium while keeping barium in solution."

I predict further nuggets will emerge from this patent. So, if you must, please enjoy your own favorite aqueous solution with a toast to sages, Weir, Nelson & Clifford, praise be their name.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Nanosolar Obtains Federal Funding

$43 Mil to Nanosolar.


$ 43,453,309

Solar PV

San Jose


San Jose


Nanosolar will factory produce tools for the manufacturing of low-cost, low-GHG emission solar cells, using nanotechnology-enabled roll-to-roll processes. Tools enable high throughput production steps including printing of electronic ink, annealing, various deposition steps, cell assembly, and quality control and testing of structural and functional properties of product.