Monday, February 23, 2009

1st Annual Best of TheEEStory Awards

If there's one universal truth one can take away from The Academy Awards, it's that the more you insist that your awards celebration is important, the more important it becomes. With that in mind, it's time to recognize achievement in the field of EEStorytelling. The ballots have been cast and the winners shall now learn of their greatness.

The first category recognizes an individual who has shown promise as an independent thinker, the sort of soul who can make up his own mind decisively while still uncovering wide swath's of clues that show he may be correct. The EEStor EEScar for non-Anonymous EEStor Believer goes to Daniel R Plante.

Coverage of a topic like EEStor Inc., would not be complete if there weren't a few sound individuals who can hold in their mind contradictory concepts while maintaining logical consistency in support of EEStor progress. The EEStor EEScar for Things are Great But I Can't Tell You Why Without Employing Non-Verbal Communication goes to Ian Clifford, Zenn Motor Company for his statement that the EEStor NDA has no restriction on 'bubbling' over EEStor progress.

Fans of theEEStory revel in diametrically opposed communication plans, especially when they emanate from a single entity. The EEStor EEScar for Best Case of Here's Everything I Know About EEStor, Oops! But I Can No Longer Make Public Comments Maybe For Saying Too Much Initially goes to Lockheed Martin's Lionel Liebman and Craig Vanbebber.

It's not excruciatingly rare to come across someone knowledgeable who has never heard of EEStor. Therefore, it's necessary to recognize keen work in the field of Not Knowing And Thus Failing to Ask Interesting Questions. This year, we have a tie and so the EEStor EEScar goes to Every Person Who Has Attended An Event Where Kleiner Perkins Has Had A Speaker And Open Question Session But Failed To Ask EEStor Questions. (This includes especially American Federal Government Officials).

Sometimes it takes genuine muscle to pursue nuggets of truth in the EEStory. Doubts are there to be conquered which occasionally takes great effort with little that can be shared publicly. In the area of Best Individual Conviction That I Should Fly Cross Country To See EEStor's Possible First Unveiling, we recognize a person whose dedication to the EEStory is second only to one. I'm talking about the infinitely trustworthy, non-Anonymous EEStory crusader "with a few secrets of my own" Tom Villars.

In the area of multimedia displays of affection, we find the core of hope for the EEstory outcome. And so we must recognize talent especially that which must never be repeated for fear of offending the eegods. The EEStor EEScar for Best Lyrical Adaptation of A Popular Christmas Jingle As Sung By The Adapter goes to Mr. AD2.

Everyone knows that EEStor technology will create numerous jobs hitherto unimagined. One job worth noting that already exists is that of EEStor Poker Player which gives rise to our next category which is Best Straight Face To Maintain Consistency In Light Of Numerous Sources of Stress Not The Least Of Which Is A Timeline Moving Right On The Old Gant Chart And For Coining the Phrase No Net New News Yielding A Useful Acronym (NNNN). For worthy communication excellence, the EEStor EEScar goes to: Catherine Scrimgeour, Zenn Motor Company.

Now it's time to recognize the faithful. Some people collect giant balls of yarn. Others collect hundreds of dogs or cats. But in theEEStory, a person who can place EEStor clues along a timeline--hundreds of them-- must certainly be among the most publicly obsessed. So in the category of When Exactly Did EEStor Do This Or When Did So and So Say X about EEStor or How Long Has EEStor Been Engaged In Y the EEStor EEScar goes to BretSpot.

The Tickled To Death award recognizes giddiness in the face of potentially great personal fortune for having a little bit of faith and a lot of money. The EEStor EEScar goes to Mr. Carl Watkins, Light Electric Vehicles Company.

The Dielectric Saturation Is Not An Emotional Plea For Help And No, I Won't Be Allowing B An Interview Until I Am Proven Correct award goes to a skeptic whose consistency of position is only continually contradicted by his ongoing participation with the EEStory. The EEStor EEScar goes to Dr. Y_PO.

In the realm of Best Article Piecing Together The Economic Significance Of EEStor To Investors or Better, Best Article Describing EEStor's Marketplace As A Horse Race goes to Jim Kingsdale.

Now we come to the important awards according to me. In the category of Best EEStor Forum Post, we recognize the achievement in deriving significance to EEStor based on it's potential impact. The EEStor EEScar goes to Tea4Me, for What Are The Most Valuable EEstor Licenses In Order Of Value.

In the category of Maintaining A Business In Stealth Mode Despite How Cool It Would Be To Talk, The EEStor EEScar goes to EEStor Inc.

And now, the award we've all been waiting for and moreso after reading a posting with so little substance. In the category of Greatest Documentary Blog Uncovering The Coolest Technology Of Our Lifetimes Operated By A Mostly Clueless, Awkward Dork Preferring Run On Sentences To Non Run Ons, we recognize greatness simpliciter. The EEStor EEScar goes to me. Let's go to the acceptance speech:

I'd like to thank Tom, Dick & Harry Weir for providing me one of the best cyber adventures of a lifetime. Oops, late for a meeting! Gotta Run!